Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Still feels incredible watching it again.
Most of them were the top soccer stars in their prime on that time.
Hope you like it as much as I do...
.... especially with the presence the mercurial French man himself!
Eric Cantona, Ronaldo, Paolo Maldini, Luis Figo, Patrick Kluivert, Edgar Davids, Ian Wright, Manuek Rui Costa, Thomas Brolin, Jose Campos.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Melvin Wong was said to have been kicked out from the American Psychiatric Association. Gee, I wonder why... but it is no wonder that he shows such disdain for APA materials here enough to quote them out of context, and supports Focus On The Family's pseudo-"science". They always makes a mockery out of Dr. Robert Spitzer's research. What does Dr. Spitzer has say on this:
So said the real doctor. But the snake oil doctor Melvin has other plans. He is content to tell you that it is all because of your parents and environment. And that you gay men do not know that you are men. Is it not amazing that none of my gay friends identity as women? Heck even my cross-dressing sistas is proud of their libido. Duh!
Here is his list of Melvin Wong's famous Gender Identity Disorder types...
... and Melvin Wong is going to leave you blind with a warning at the end of this slide....:
Most are victims of sexual abuse?!
Let us see, what exactly should we do with Melvin Wong's research?
Yuki's Choice Reading:
Why? Oh, why do Focus On The Family and their buddies have to lie?! (examples here:)
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
24th of December is supposed to be a beautiful day. In my last Christmas eve as a member of a church, we went caroling and then spent some time in an Indian-Muslim restaurant after that. For the few years after, my friends and me went out and spent super party X-nights at the jam packed Ipoh Garden East pubs and clubs area, the playground during my early young adult years. 4 years ago, with my last girlfriend who nearly became my fiancé in my last months of boy acting, we went out and painted the town literally in the red of Christmas. And almost a year ago, I married my Australian husband.
That screwed it all up. Of all the days I can choose, I chose, Christmas. So I have something to cherish for the rest of my life (presumably). When I returned to Malaysia after my wedding, tomorrow was supposed to be the day I am fully operated and reunited with my husband. Now I am alone, struggling to gain back my confidence and life. My so-called husband? He is now a psycho who believes he and his ex-wife are alien hybrids and last I heard, he is waiting to his makers (those pesky aliens of course) to come. He has been rather quiet since his alien-lunatic inspiration announced that his extra-terrestrial friends will come October 14th this year. Because of course, reality of life is against that.
So the aliens never made it, he lost his wife, now with his ex-wife, I am still pre-operative and I will should be dating again soon. And I do not have much to go on. Speaking of that dating thingy, choices are few and far between. I could not bring myself to love pure men anymore, and women in my life may never accept me for my form as a transsexual female. I can never be fully femme, and I have to accept that. So I will still be looking.
I am stuck in a project job probably until some economic recovery on both personal and world front. I am back in struggling to secure my car from being towed away, and I did not update on my donation drives because there is nothing to update. Except that two of my dearest overseas friends sending the last two PayPal donations. It is amazing how the power of love drives people, and me. And with this love power, I have been all out concentrating on advocacy for LGBTs, going to events and making new friends along the way while addressing issues closest to my heart. At least that would help me stop hurting.
So I am going to destroy every photo that has my husband in it tomorrow. And I am going to make my Christmas beautiful somehow. I also hope that this blogsite has touched and inspired all of you reading it. I am still growing and learning and will still stand up for the community which I have come to love. And to all of you, seasons greetings of peace. Please drive carefully to your lezzie and gay clubbing destinations if you are a party-goer. If you are with your partners, have a beautiful silent night. If you are alone, someone here is lonely too. To all of you, A Merry And Blessed Christmas.
With Love, Yuki Choe.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Unhealthy Heterosexual Lifestyle: From The Archives Of The Mighty Box Turtle Bulletin - An Example Of How Straight Marriages Lead To Many Sinful Acts.
The wife has sex with her dog and a 15-year old teenager. While the husband takes photos!
Therefore, it is an awesome lie that gay marriages is bad if you think about it. (><) A little commentary by Jim Burroway:
This couple is legally married, and the state of Florida thinks their marriage is perfectly dandy. Florida schoolchildren are being taught that their marriage is just as good as anyone else’s — except for gay people. Because, you know, that’s a much bigger threat to marriage than people who have sex with dogs and with 15-year-old family friends.
I demand the Proposition 8 campaign to review the constitutional amendment that marriage is between man and woman. Ban marriage! Just have civil unions! No marriage, no big sin of divorce!
And no dirty nonsense such as these!
Thank you, Box Turtle Bulletin, for exposing this abomination called heterosexuality.
Friday, December 19, 2008
She is Parinya Kiatbusaba (or Parinya Charoenphol), better known to all of us as Nong Tum.
In one of her most notable fights >.
In her final fight. In the movie 'Beautiful Boxer', it is mentioned that it is after this fight in which she is starting to feel conflicted with her love for Muay Thai, her treatment by fight organizers as a circus show and her wanting to be her true girl self. It was then she withdrew from the sport under pressure from Muay Thai traditions of not allowing females to fight and complete her SRS.
The trailer for the movie "Beautiful Boxer". The movie won tons of allocades including Best Actor at the Thai Academy Awards for Asanee Suwan who played Nong Tum, and several other international awards such as:
- Torino International Gay & Lesbian Film Festival – Best Feature Film, winner (2004)
- Thailand National Film Association Awards – Best Actor Asanee Suwan, winner; Best Makeup Kraisorn Sampethchareon, winner (2004)
- San Sebastián International Film Festival – Sebastian Award, winner (2004)
- Milan International Lesbian and Gay Film Festival – Best Film, winner (2004)
- Outfest Achievement Award – Outstanding Emerging Talent, Ekachai Uekrongtham (2004)
- GLAAD Media Awards – Outstanding Film Limited Release, nominated (2006)
Nong Tum makes a special guest appearance in this movie as a beauty therapist, and Nong Tum's last opponent Kyoko Inoue plays herself, re-enecting the final fight in the movie.
Some photos of Nong Tum then and now here:
Yuki's Choice Reading:
Nong Tum On National Geographic.
Nong Tum's profile in Wikipedia.
Published in "The Journey Of Yuki" on Sunday, March 9, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
She just turned 69 end of last month! And here she was performing at this year’s Grammy Awards! She can still sing!
And she is embarking on another world tour!
Makes you think seriously about living your life to the fullest, yes? Gee... I wonder where will I be at 69....
Yuki's Choice Reading: Tina Turner On Wikipedia.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
As last reported from my TJOY blog, this is the previous one:
Now it is this:
Transgender: One whose psychological gender is opposite to his/her biological gender
Transsexual: A transgender who has chosen to live ones life as the opposite sex
Transvestite: A person who dresses up as the opposite gender for performances & etc
Alas, it is still far off. “One whose psychological gender is opposite to his/her biological gender” is actually the definition of a transsexual, not transgender. And a transsexual do not choose to live ones life as the opposite sex. It is already imprinted in the brain sex as the psychological gender.
At least, he now has got “transvestite” correct, which is commendable to one extent.
Now, if only he understands the real definitions, in the easiest to read form:
A term used to include transsexuals, transgenderists and transvestites/ Crossdressers.
A person who feels a consistent and overwhelming desire to transition and fulfill their lives as members of the opposite gender. These individuals have usually been diagnosed as such, by a psychologist or psychiatrist as having GID. Most transsexuals actively desire and complete Sexual-Reassignment Surgery. Transsexuals live or are in the process of living full time as the opposite gender, whether non, pre or post-op.
The Latin and clinical name for "Crossdresser". A person who dresses in the clothing of the opposite sex for fetishistic reasons and has no desire to transition.
Or better still. Stop even mentioning anything about transgenders, especially when he is not an authority on transgenders, parrots his own opinions as “education”, and knows nothing about transgenders. Heck, he does not even have sources to put forth. Well what do you expect, when he believes in the dismissed-even-by-PFOX-and-NARTH-Richard-Cohen; and also quotes religious biased “research” from NARTH. I guess he will never use peer-previewed research from respectable medical professionals and scientists on boards with scientific authority, especially when it will tear his dogmatic teachings apart.
But what can you expect from a person who thinks homosexuality is nothing but an activity, a “lifestyle”? I guess illogical and irrational thinking take time to “cure”.
Monday, December 15, 2008
I asked one of my good buddies Sam over some drinks the other night. I asked him, "Are you a boy?". He answered, “YES!”. I asked him of his attractions and he immediately said, “I cannot help it. I really like boys. It is just in me”. Another of my friends recently got first place in a debate competition. She negotiated her arguments very well in order to build bridges with those who may not understand nor agree with her. You can read it here.
Now let us look up our beloved dictionary to find out the meaning of “confusion”.
the act of confusing.
the state of being confused.
disorder; upheaval; tumult; chaos: The army retreated in confusion.
lack of clearness or distinctness: a confusion in his mind between right and wrong.
perplexity; bewilderment: The more difficult questions left us in complete confusion.
embarrassment or abashment: He blushed in confusion
Psychiatry. a disturbed mental state; disorientation.
Archaic. defeat, overthrow, or ruin.
Now, many people would have heard of ex-gay ministries parroting the myth that LGBTs are “gender confused”. This includes Melvin Wong of Focus On The Family (Singapore) and Edmund Smith of Real Love Ministry (Malaysia). So can you find any single hint of “confusion” in the examples of people I had given ealier? No? Guess so.
Friday, December 12, 2008
The Best From The Archives Of "The Journey Of Yuki" - Yuki's Funnies: Calpernia Addams Presents "Bad Questions".
"Bad Questions - Questions Never To Ask A Transsexual Person" by Calpernia Addams.
(At TJOY, the old version was used. This video shown here now is the director's cut.)
Yuki's Choice Reading:
For more on Calpernia Addams:
Her New Reality Show.
Yes, it is a her you dumb (beep)!
Published in "The Journey Of Yuki" on Sunday, March 2, 2008
The No. 1 Calpernia Addams Hater... Gives A Piece Of Her Mind Here....
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
The genetic components of transsexualism came out late this year, 2008:
IN THE largest ever genetic study of transsexuals, Australian researchers have discovered a DNA variation linked to male-to-female transsexualism.
The research confirmed that transsexuality was not a lifestyle decision, as some had suggested, said another team member, Trudy Kennedy, the director of the Monash Gender Dysphoria Clinic in Melbourne.
A gene variant has been identified that appears to be associated with female-to-male transsexuality - the feeling some women have that they belong to the opposite sex.
"This is in line with what we previously know about masculinisation of the brain and is therefore less likely to be a chance finding", he says. "Hence, the study is important and adds to the notion that gender identity is influenced by sex hormones early in life, and that certain gene combinations make individuals more vulnerable to aberrant effects."
Brain May 'Hard-Wire' Sexuality Before Birth.
“Our findings may explain why we feel male or female, regardless of our actual anatomy,” Vilain said. “These discoveries lend credence to the idea that being transgender — feeling that one has been born into the body of the wrong sex — is a state of mind.
Male-to-Female Transsexuals Have Female Neuron Numbers in a Limbic Nucleus.
The number of neurons in the BSTc of male-to-female transsexuals was similar to that of the females (P = 0.83). In contrast, the neuron number of a female-to-male transsexual was found to be in the male range. Hormone treatment or sex hormone level variations in adulthood did not seem to have influenced BSTc neuron numbers. The present findings of somatostatin neuronal sex differences in the BSTc and its sex reversal in the transsexual brain clearly support the paradigm that in transsexuals sexual differentiation of the brain and genitals may go into opposite directions and point to a neurobiological basis of gender identity disorder.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Many members of the LGBT were preoccupied with work for the coming World Aids Day 2008. Many more were unable to make it on that weekend. But it was a day to remember for the 20 plus people who came for the inaugural Transgender Day of
Remembrance 2008 in Malaysia. It was a day people will talk about; a day of mourning and hope for a better future for us who are different. Some were curious straights while some were just there to watch the movie due to be shown. But all of them left with the message in tact, one that prays for compassion and a wish to be loved for who we are.
Read more here.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
WHY do lelaki lembut (effeminate men) become mak nyah (transvestites)?
This question was posed by Datuk Halimah Mohd Sadique (BN-Tenggara) to Deputy Women, Family and Community Development Minister Noriah Kasnon in the Dewan Rakyat today.
Noriah said she did not have the answer because the ministry did not have a study on the matter. Besides, there has been no other study on the number of effeminate men who ended up being transvestites.
“I’m sorry we do not have the figure as this group (effeminate men) has yet to become our target group. And we have not made any study on this group. But InsyaAllah (God willing), we will try to look into this matter in future," Noriah said.
“Actually, I think, it all started from education at home. And also peer group interactions, the strong influence of today’s borderless technology as well as frustrations from past relations with the opposite sex."
Halimah also asked whether the ministry has failed in its rehabilitation programmes resulting in people in this situation going back to their previous activities even after going through rehabilitations.
To this, Noriah said the programmes for mak nyah were not a total failure.
“This group has a very low self-esteem. They are afraid to be approached and always worried about the social stigma that has never stopped against them," she said.
“It is difficult for them to quickly come back to the right path even with the help and social service support from our centres."
Noriah said although there is still a lot to be done, many of the mak nyah have realised their mistakes and started to take up classes to build up their skills such as
in sewing and handicraft, as well as working at the cosmetic sections in the shopping complexes.
She also lamented that the ministry did not get any support from the corporate sector and suggested that they take up the issue as a corporate social responsibility.
Earlier, Noriah told Dr Lo’ Lo’ Mohd Ghazali (PAS-Titiwangsa) the ministry provides social support to those in the community who need its help, including women who have gone astray, and mak nyah.
For girls below 18 exposed to or are involved in immoral sexual activities, the ministry provides protection in an institution called Taman Seri Puteri.
The Social Welfare Development also has allocated a launching grant of up to RM2,700 each for those interested to start small-time businesses, she said.
My hope is that Puan Noriah would take into consideration the latest biological evidences of mak nyahs to put into the equation rather than relying on dogmas about environmental causes, and know not all mak nyahs are transvestites, and also consider empowering while affirming the mak nyah community to move ahead in their lives. We are fortunate to have a leader like her.
Yuki’s Choice Readings:
Of course, there would still be ignorant people who would not give themselves a chance to understand (he wrote in malay language, so you can get a picture where he is coming from).
And The Star being a goverment controlled newspaper will always downplay everything about our progress (soft men? soft men?! I think they had never seen a rough girl just like me).
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Not content with calling me with the wrong pronouns, and also claiming I am an “instrument of the devil”, the very nice trans-bigoted couple Sister Edmund Smith (really a sister of mine! He calls himself Alicia in the comments! I really believe Sister Edmund is a closet transvestite.) and Brother Amuamanda Smith decided to drop by to Tilted World today to state their case against me. While posing as Edison Chong (the e-mail was recorded as Amuamanda’s. Really a brother!), He/She goes to this we love gays so much that they come to us automatically to change without force. Wow. That sounds so… duh!
Then Alicia (Sister Edmund in disguise according to the e-mail address, and with the same IP address as Brother Amuamanda’s post), delivered this shocking transphobic attack:
Yuki is a LIAR! I know that freak. Do not help him!!!
And that earns Real Love Ministry not only the title of “real true bull transphobics ministry”, they even earn spotlight on my new column: Transphobication Of The Day!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
My husband did not leave on his own accord. As what he told me, he was dis-fellowshipped along with his wife then after 14 years with Kingdom Hall in Darwin. Which probably explains why he still hold to their teachings; from believing that Christ and the archangel Michael being the same person to always calling God by the name Jehovah. But I thought that it was not important, that our lives were of more importance.
The first time I met him at Australia he seemed a decent man. I did not mind him driving an old van or staying in an untidy house which is the only house around the area that do not have air-conditioning to beat the humid Darwin weather. I did not even mind his cerebral palsy ridden ex-wife is staying with us. As long as he loves me, I thought. And in a month we were supposed to marry. It was just 2 weeks when things started to happen.
After attempting to clean the floor with something harsh, the smell of the odour got me into a bad headache which resembled a sinus infection. The next day, I complained to my husband of not being well. Instead of letting me rest and with no regards to how I was feeling, he literally dragged me out of my bed and forced me into the van to go out. It is now I know that Jehovah’s Witnesses seemed to have a theocratic treatment towards women.
After my return to Malaysia heading towards my operation, he suddenly told me he is now a believer in Native American Indian religions. He is a firm believer in Hopi prophecies and began to believe in UFOs and ETs coming to earth. I have no problems with that, except that he chases after the “knowledge” like a new drug. He was obsessed with it, to the point he abandoned responsibility to many things, including me, his wife.
And his responses were so Jehovah’s Witnesses like. All my disapproval to him was interpreted by him as persecution. Every criticism by me was deemed by him as an insult. Every argument I had with him seemed to end with him blaming me for abuse. In fact I was really starting to blame myself, probably for my lack of time with him at Darwin - Australia, when I should have been with him. But true to a JW follower, he believed in the illusion that he is right.
When he decided to leave me in the lurch in Thailand, his stories just did not hold up. Reason for cancelling my operation was supposed to be financial difficulties. But he did not talk to me about it, instead he told the nurse that. And he told me he was cancelling it because I was “abusing” him. All this while telling everyone else I was “milking him for money.” He blamed me for giving me the operation, he blamed me for giving me money.
He was also confused with what he wants. He has yet to finish his book that was supposed to be published last year. A book that took 15 years to write and yet to finish. He told me he believed the end of the world was nigh. Now he believes aliens will save the day. He has become more conceited and righteous until he believes I am blind. His self-righteousness is so evident now. I found that out last August, when he announced our separation.
I am sorry I can’t help out with any advice regarding immigration. Vivienne and I split up. Some days before her operations were due she started to behave really strangely and I had to cancel for her own sake. But she also had some other very serious issues before this, that I was hoping we could deal with. Unfortunately they were too serious. I’m fine though. Resigned to being alone for the time being. No big. I wish you and Chris all the best. (emphasis mine)
Behaving really strangely? Cancelling the operation for my own sake? I had some very serious issues? He went on to imply in e-mail today that I insulted him and that I treated him as though he was stupid. And all I asked for was some money to support myself further because I am not in a good state with medical and financial issues. I have resisted myself asking for alimony from him even though I have a strong case. I still care for him.
After reading several sources about Jehovah’s Witnesses, I am starting to feel sorry for him. He did not have a good past, his childhood was nothing but a trip around Australia in a caravan with an overbearing mother and a drunkard father. Then his youth was entrapped within four walls he thought was home. He thinks he is happy and felt accepted by "friends". How to treat a girl right is far away from his dictionary, let alone how to be a husband.
The peculiar thing was that for a few times he actually admitted his days in the Jehovah’s Witnesses screwed him up, then changes his mind to silence. But even as a person obsessed with White Hopi prophecies, the retention of his values as a JW within him never went away. The quest for peace in this world. That secret place where there is no war. A hunger for fulfillment in life. It is unfortunate he is looking for it at the wrong places.
I married an actual Jehovah’s Witness man. That was a mistake. There is nothing I can do about it. The deep misogyny I experienced shall never be forgotten. He may even be reading this and hurl accusations of “insult” and “abuse”. But he can never escape this fact. He made promises worth life / death to his wife. He broke them 5 days before the biggest of promises. Also blame his wife for this and that. Then seeks approval from his “brothers”.
He is now with his ex-wife who is inflicted with Cerebral Palsy. The living conditions for her are horrendous, and I recall him talking as if he is the only sane carer in Australia, and is keeping her because of the fear she would be abused by other carers. Probably another self-righteous lie I guess. Actually, maybe this is the case. Cerebral Palsy women are easier to control for him. Smart and thinking women are too much for him to handle.
Yuki's Choice Reading:
A Ministry of Misery: Mental Illness and the Jehovah's Witnesses
Monday, November 17, 2008
"Yuki's Box Of Chocolates" is currently powered by Beyond Ex-Gay, Tilted World and Connecticut TransAdvocacy Coalition, with the LGBT community.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
The previews are here:
The audio for the entire sermon is available on this page:
Some commentaries are available here:
This man is from Church Of Our Saviour, Singapore, that runs Choices Ministry in affiliation with Exodus International.
Looking at the PDF file, I still could not understand the inability of Pastors to tell the truth, but in the end, preach lies and intolerance. I will comment on the PDF scripts only, because I know if I listen to his sermon I will feel nauseous.
For example, the blatant use of Genesis 19, clearly to neutrals is the story of attempted rape on angels. But it is amazing how intolerant eyes cannot see the events unfolding before the very passages.
Then there is the use of Leviticus. Is it not amazing that people present the Old Leviticus Laws, some that demands of people to be put to death in the most trivial of matters, example, Leviticus 20:9 (death to disobeying children), Leviticus 20:10 (death to unfaithful men), Leviticus 20: 18 (death to men having sex with women during period), as just by laws of that generation or culture, or even went as far as the laws were written for a specific community; but still homosexuals are cherry picked out of it as the only 'sin'?
Or the use of Paul's 'condemnation' of homosexuals as the prime weapon of intolerance; but totally forsaking the same letters that address the reduced role of women, african-americans, and slaves? Or translating the word 'arsenokoites', which means arsen (man) koites (bed), which can mean anything, to be translated as pervert by this 'pastor' who somehow forgot his theology? Or how about 1 Corinthians 6 about pagan idolatry, interpreted by them as homosexual lust? I wonder how would he preach 1 Corinthians 11 and 14 about women.
Then on part two he preaches the same junk science Edmund Smith always preaches about homosexuality being 'developed'. This is really getting frustrating, with again connotations of poor relationships with the parents of the same sex, child abuse... wow. This is really stupid. He then goes about the mantra of how 'change' is possible. SO what is change when the orientation is not? Is living a celibate life equivalent to a total change of orientation? As for testimonies, just how many of them are genuine men born normal but gay? He even cited Spitzer. Dr Spitzer himself had expressed disappointment that his research was taken out of context
This is where it gets repulsive when he begins to actually not preach about God as a so called pastor, but is advertising Choices Ministry's methods in the end. There is one line that got me shaking my head, 'Acceptance is not the same as approval', excuse me for my English, but acceptance IS about approval. If you accept food in your mouth means you approve of it! Mr Derek and his partner in crime Shawn Tay plays with words but ended up a two yelping dingos.
Lastly, they conceived in their ultra shallow minds, the gay agenda.
1) Strive for special rights for homosexuals, presenting themselves as equal to minority ethnic groups.
2) Governments to approve homosexual marriages and legal adoption of children.
(If you look at one and two, you would notice they are connected. Homosexuals are NOT given these rights, so what is so 'special' about having these rights that are equivalent to heterosexuals?)
3) Silence all parties (e.g., pro-family groups and religious institutions) who oppose their agenda.
4) Eradication of all help-groups (such as Choices) which seek to bring recovery to homosexuals.
(You would see, they are frightened out of their own skins of the truth. They are afraid that if people know the real deal about homosexuality, they have to close shop on their illegal recovery spa.)
5) Right to promote homosexuality as a viable alternative lifestyle through the education system.
(Lifestyle, lifestyle, lifestyle... again I ask on behalf of people who are unfortunately born homosexual... WHAT lifestyle? Please take care of your own heterosexual 'lifestyles' before you question others....)
It is no wonder this church is considered the most anti-gay church in Singapore. The Gay Agenda? I would throw back a question at this bozo and ask him, in reference to these sermons, what is The Christian Agenda? Is it here? That a community oppressed be controlled? This is sick, really getting sick. Sometimes I wonder what happened to the Christ we all believed in. I can feel the cross shaking by the degree of worship of intolerance and religion shown by them.
Published in "The Journey Of Yuki" on Saturday, September 8, 2007
Yuki's Choice Reading:
The Extremes of Church Of Our Saviour And Choices Ministry, by Yuki Choe on Ex-Gay Watch.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
KOTA BARU: The National Fatwa Council has ruled that tomboyism, where a girl behaves or dresses in a boyish manner, is forbidden in Islam.
Its chairman Datuk Dr Abdul Shukor Husin said the decision was prompted by recent developments as there had been cases of young women inclined to behave like men and indulging in homosexuality.
Parents must stop their children from indulging in disruptive activities that are against Islamic teachings, he told reporters here yesterday. -Bernama-
His name is Dr. Abdul Shukor Husin (left pic). I really wonder where he got that “Dr” title from since he is so eager to condemn the group that holds the least risks of HIV/AIDS infection and are the most monogamous couplehood in the entire world. I would advice him to go back to high school and study on what “homosexuality” means as a sexual orientation since his knowledge is inconclusive. “Indulging in homosexuality”? What is actually is that? I thought it was decided that it means anal sex? Oh wait, some heterosexuals do it on the butt too. And the term is called anal sex, not homosexuality.
Anyway, if we go by Dr. Abdul Shukor’s distinguished English language revamp, he would mean lesbians indulging in anal sex. But excuse me, can the good “Dr.” Abdul, or the rest of his council members like the infamously transphobic and homophobic misogynist Perak Mufti Harussani Idris Zakaria (right pic), (Gosh, I am beginning to be ashamed of being a Perak girl) tell me, this poor ignorant girl, how the lesbians actually do homosexuality = anal sex? Or can he please decide before some poor chap who experiments with his wife’s tighter hole is called a les? Or are these two content in reinventing the facts of life? Harussani even used “immoral”, “wrong” and “sin” to define tomboys. So, if I am a tomboyish celibate lesbian with long hair and wear dresses I am all of that? Wow, the sin of just existing.
And again, OMG, the clothes issue. I wonder why so many people like those in the fatwa council are so fascinated with clothes these days since fashion is becoming more and more unisexual. Excuse my broken Cantonese, but this is really “Fart-Wan”. These religious moral guardians might as well go and arrest all the shy village folk men who wears sarong since the decree against transgender females back in 1980's (but they did not, and they did not even arrest our famous Chef Wan for being effeminate either). It seems that they are struggling to translate clothes as “girl” and “boy”, and also confused on what behaviour would constitute “maleness” and “femaleness”. Guys, please get an education.
With these latest foot-in-mouth disease victims, we can see that they wish to criminalise girls who are tomboys and lesbians. So any purely heterosexual girl who dresses in pants and has short hair would be hauled up by Syariah? Unlikely so. Even the civil law cannot punish lesbians on technicality because lesbians (erm) do not have “carnal intercourse”, let alone “indulging in homosexuality according to Dr. Abdul Shukor”. Therefore, the National Fatwa Council headed by the “Dr”, wishes to ban not only a complete state of existence of a person and her sexual orientation, but on the basis of nothing. Yes, let me repeat this. Banning nothing.
It is amazing how people like the good “Dr” and his equally naive buddies, the so-called religious “scholars”, love to change the already preset meanings to words like “homosexuality” and “tomboy”, and conform everyone to their ridiculous believes. It is already unacceptable that the religious authorities can be so cruel towards homosexuals and transgender females, but this latest charade is mindless. This is great. Most of the world now have a new joke about Malaysia. I really do not mind buying them some research books and dictionaries to give them, free of charge. They just need to ask.
Or if they are really so free to ponder over stupid fatwas, perhaps they need a real life? I am sure a lot of Muslim transsexual males, tomboys and lesbians still have a heck of a life regardless.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
When I entered the clinic room, a jovial Punjabi psychiatrist greeted me. As she started to ask me some personal questions, I had the sudden surge of emotions and burst into tears. It was because I know I am a total wreckage, which was why I came all the way to see a psychiatrist, and I explained to her the aspects of my life I had trouble controlling, from the over-flooding of memories to my heart and the sad songs that kept rerunning through my mind. I knew this is going to be the start of a long term solution. I knew I have to take practical steps; not only relying on a prayer to Christ, and not listening to friends pep-talk that includes total rejection that I have a problem, to being victimized as a victim.
Somehow depression is a very misunderstood condition. People do not seem to understand it. And no one in my circle feels it is something valid. Some of my friends also believe I am just making a big issue of myself being a victim and calls it rubbish. It is so unfortunate that they really do not know how I feel inside and how torn I am. Some just keep on hurting me in the guise of “constructive talk” but with accusing words that refuse to acknowledge my condition and even continue treating it very lightly.
But I do not wish anything else for people anymore if really they do not care and dismiss my person, only I alone know myself and what I am facing. I just want to sleep. I wish to be happy. I need to feel my worth. I hope to love myself. I am tired of waking up more than 10 times a night having the deafening silence haunting me, and some songs resounding in my ears. I am frustrated at my inability to focus even when I am driving. I am so sad that I would honestly say if it were not for the love and support of my true friends I would have taken my life. It is their care and concern for me that I know I owe it to them to keep going. This was echoed by the psychiatrist who seemed to see through me. It was like she already knew that most people are being negative and mean towards me and the struggles I have.
So I am now taking the anti-depressant called “Lexapro” which the kind psychiatrist prescribed to me. I do know I am in it for real now. I always fear the side effects and the withdrawal symptoms that would hit me when I stop taking it after my clinical observation is over. I took it for a good few days and it came with the good and the bad stuff. The bad of course is the feeling of nothingness and the sudden sense of emotion jerks to the comfortable numbness when I streak with my car on the road, along with dizziness that sometimes attack me. The good is that I can sense myself being abducted by aliens when I sleep, and only woke up a few times in a night but still in peace. There is a strange calm that reside in me when I go outside, with it much more composed emotions.
When I check back the slip I realised I am going to be on this medication for one year. So far I have slept early and woke up in the morning sans most of the painful memories I endured for years. I also realised that all my extreme feelings like anger resided with ease. There was an issue I faced with a friend on Wednesday evening that went by my head so fast that I can focus properly on what I can do on Thursday. And that was to start my new job (now you know why I have been quiet on cyberspace). So at least the 10mg of Lexapro could lock up for the time being the immense pain while I can concentrate on important matters, that is to continue climbing back up the pit I fell into. Also to stop being hard on myself and avoid people who are negative. I know some of my friends would still think there is no such thing as depression in me. But at least I know I can still count on professional help to reach that frame of mind.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Unhealthy Heterosexual Lifestyle: New Bond Girl Gemma Arterton Had Sixth Finger Mutilated When Young.
Gemma Arterton, the latest Bond Girl, was born with six fingers.
But goodness me, the sixth was removed when she was a child!
Just whose extreme decision was this? Her? Her parents? Such differences should be accepted!
But then, she said here:
"It's my little oddity that I'm really proud of... It
makes me different...."
Then why remove it?! Because the parents wanted to impose their healthy child by creation of God to the heterosexual standard's five finger rule?! We all should live in all integrity and openess, even with six fingers!
And puh-leez, just as people accuse transsexuals of mutilating their abnormal growth between their legs, is this not also a form of mutilation? Why not just accept everyone the way they are and be proud of them for it?
Look closely at the great diversity God have given to us. There are so many types of six-y fingers!
There is the small, cute one by the side:
And there is the macho fully grown six finger-oo!
Some even have their mighty toes to complement their fingers!
It is so very nice and sweet! Just think, you can count until 6!
Poor, poor, Gemma... Look at what incredible fun, and the life she is missing....
Monday, October 13, 2008
Financially I am still at a terrible shape. The odd meals here and there (it was an opportunity, but disappointingly my body still refuses to lose some weight) is not even enough to get my petrol meter going up a notch. And today I am going to another interview with a non-governmental organization with the empty tank warning light blinking again. This is not the kind of life I wish to live. But if one thing good can come out of this, is that I will learn back how to live a simple life. This way, I can start saving money again, first to get myself back into shape and for my medium term goal, the SRS.
Blogging itself is a problem for me now. I wish I can spend more time researching and commenting on issues around the world in regards to LGBT issues, and share my life with all of you. But alas, I really am struggling with the resources to do so. But I am thankful that I am not presenting my life to a wall. You are all reading this spot somewhere around the world, and with that I can hold on to my life. And some of you really make me feel I am an significant part of your life and never give up hope for me, with that I can never give up hope on myself now. I have more esteem to keep on living. I am deeply grateful and touched with all the assistance you all are giving to me. And I will not fail all of you.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
The Best From The Archives Of "The Journey Of Yuki" - Unhealthy Heterosexual Lifestyle: 'Come Back To Me' Singer Vanessa Hudgens Outed.
(AP) Recently, a scene showing a kiss on the lips was a big deal for the wildly popular "High School Musical," but fans will be even more surprised this time around with a recent nude image posted on the Internet of one of the movie's top stars.
Vanessa Hudgens' representative has confirmed that a nude photo circulating on the Internet is indeed the 18-year-old star of Disney Channel's wildly popular "High School Musical" movies.
"This was a photo which was taken privately," said Jill Fritzo, Hudgens' publicist, on Friday. "It is a personal matter and it is unfortunate that this has become public."
The photo shows the 18-year-old actress standing naked in what appears to be a bathroom, with a red shower curtain behind her.
The Disney Channel, part of the Walt Disney Co., denied a published report that Hudgens will be dropped from the upcoming feature film "High School Musical 3." That movie is in development, and negotiations with the stars are incomplete.
Disney had no further comment about the pictures.
Hudgens portrayed Gabriella, the brainy love interest of Zac Efron's basketball star in the first two "High School Musical" made-for-cable movies. The two are said to be dating in real life.
"High School Musical 2" attracted more than 17 million viewers for its Disney Channel premiere in August, the most-watched television program of the summer.
Yuki's choice reading:
The confirmation of events here:
The PR disaster for Disney's High School Musical here:
The apology here:
The photo of her, in the nude, here:
The higher resolution photo of her, in the nude here:
Sorry guys, let us not rub salt into people's wounds, kay?....
Yuki's thoughts: I still respect her. At least she admits and apologizes for her unhealthy heterosexual lifestyle. But what would the Christian community think about this? What would they do? Nothing I guess. Apparently the heterosexual sin is 'natural' for them. Better naked girls than naked guys, rite?
Published in "The Journey Of Yuki" on Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
There were controversies surrounding her cause of death, although the police ruled out foul play. But her postings on her website may shed a clue to what transpired. It was reported that last month, her postings were negative in tone, sentences such as “Will the end of my life be a comedy or a tragedy?” “Life is really tiresome” and “I wish everything would go the way I wanted.”. Her final posting reads “Mom, I’m sorry. I’ll do better next time.” The tone in which set precedence to her suicide was dreadfully similar to the death of another Korean actress Choi Jin-shil, age 40, both deeply linked to a lost of a loved one, and then both also began to show signs of great depression. There was also a believe that Jang's death may be closely linked to Choi's suicide, because after Jang broke up with her boyfriend, she deeply identified with Choi. And both suicides are also by hanging themselves.
Yuki's Thoughts: She was touted as the New Harisu. Looking at her, it is no wonder why. Undergoing severe depression as I am now, I can relate to her personally. It hurts, badly, to lose the one you love; and being a transsexual, someone to love and to be loved is so difficult to come by. And you just do not know who are the friends who you can trust, who would be there to comfort you; and the so-called friends that are just humouring you while laughing at your back. Life is really very sickening indeed.
See you in heaven, lovely Jang. Please send my regards if you see the other angelic sisters there.
(October really seems to be a month of LGBT tragedies. Lesbian and gay advocates will remember that young Matthew Shepard, was laying in the hospital fighting for his life, but still in the state of coma today at this time. He died a few days later. Check out this other heart breaking story on Box Turtle Bulletin.)
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
She looks at the driver and holds up one hand; the driver holds up two hands.
Next, the woman points up; the driver points down.
Then, the woman grabs her breast; the driver grabs his crotch.
Finally, the woman grabs her butt and gets off the bus.
A curious passenger asked the bus driver what the odd motions were all about.
The driver explained, 'The woman is a deaf-mute.
She asked me if a bus ride is five cents, and I told her it was ten cents.
Next, she asked if the bus was going uptown, and I told her it was going downtown.
Then, she asked if the bus was going past the dairy, and I told her it was going past the ballpark...'
The passenger interjected, 'Okay, but why did she grab her butt as she left the bus?'
The driver continued, she replied 'Oh shit, I'm on the wrong bus!'
Monday, October 6, 2008
Okay, you should know by now they are already back. They are the one and only "New Kids On The Block" or NKOTB.
Their first stage appearance together for almost a decade and a half:
New Kids On The Block - House Of Blues - May 2008
Their first single is actually released as a digital download called “Summertime”. It was later released as the second single from their new album “The Block”.
Their actual first single from that album is called “Single”, which featured Neyo:
In between that period of separation, all of them went into their respective solo singing careers, except Jonathan Knight, who went all low profile. Besides cutting some solo albums, Joey McIntyre also went into an acting career with several TV shows, while Donnie Walhberg did one better in actually making the cut as an established actor both on the telly and at the movies.
Okay, I know you would be bloody curious about this. Twenty years since their smashing successful album “Hangin' Tough”, how old are they now?
Jonathan Rashleigh Knight or Jonathan Knight (November 29th, 1968) Current age: 39+
Daniel William Wood Junior or Daniel Wood (May 14th, 1969) Current age: 39+
Donald Edmond Wahlberg Junior or Donnie Wahlberg (August 17th, 1969) Current age: 39+
Jordan Nathaniel Marcel Knight or Jordan Knight (May 17th, 1970) Current age: 38+
Joseph Mulrey McIntyre or Joey McIntyre (December 31st, 1972) Current age: 35+
A glimpse through their current few life performances illustrates that they still have a cult following from the heydays, with screaming fans around their thirties. Gosh. I am in my thirties now too. Sigh.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
I blogged about it last year, and until today it is something very personal to me, something I find difficult to forget. Because that girl had everything going for her. A loving family with an accepting mother, and a life we all could learn from. While most of us are still in our closets passing as boys at the same age, she came out and just be who she is. In the recorded statement surrounding her murder, the last words were uttered and it is a testament of her heart. “Please don't. I have a family...”. She was defenseless against the beatings of a few youths. I will revisit again the events that happened that night.
Imagine yourself in her position. 5 hours of torture. You are kicked, punched, hit by hard objects (frying pans, barbells, cans), beaten, knocked, kneed to the wall, strangled and stoned. Then your body is tied and buried like piece of shit. Is there a good reason, or a sane reason for you to be in that circumstance? Michael Magidson, Jaron Nabors, José Merél and Paul Merel had no reason to do what they did. Three of them are just serving served 6 to 11 years in prison. Now why is that? The reason for the verdict was because they did not know she was transsexual. Does that mean it is okay to kill someone because I do not know a Middle Eastern man was an American? Is it okay if I torture someone for 5 hours because I do not know that Christian boyfriend of mine was actually a Moslem?
That hence lies the point. There is no excuse, this is extreme transphobia. If I do not know something about someone I would ask, or if I finally know something I do not know, I would just walk off if I am sad. No one would even excuse themselves for murdering a mouse just because they do not know it was a guinea pig, unless they actually hate the mouse, enough to stone it to death or to fry it. And this was a human being at 17 years of age. Gwen Araujo was murdered not because she was concealing her transsexual status (it does not matter to her mind you, as she was very assured she is everything a girl can be). She was murdered because she is a transsexual. Period. I believe even the best anger management masters can tell you, no one gets into a rage so strong that they, again for 5 hours, beat a person up to death. Unless it is intentionally done so to make sure that the person is dead. And it takes great hate to kill.
And the end point is clear. She is dead. They would probably get parole or released in a few years time and goes back into society, living peacefully and quietly. But somewhere in San Fransisco, someone's daughter, sister and friend is gone forever. Sylvia Guerrero now lives by her transsexual daughter's memory, on a crusade to create awareness, and make sure no one will be harmed by such bigoted idiots with such excuses ever again. Of course, the hurt and the news may eventually be buried in history. But the fact remains that everyday transgender woman, especially transgender woman of colour, are murdered at a worrying rate. And the trend of excuses remains the same. Trans panic? Or really, is it not time for us to examine our expectations in another person, on their gender, gender conformity and our responsibility?
A documentary movie surrounding the events of Gwen Araujo's death and the subsequent trial, "Trained In The Ways Of Men":
"Please don't. I have a family..." were her last words. Powerful documentary Trained in the Ways of Men explores the controversial events surrounding the violent murder of Gwen Araujo in Newark, California—a murder that shocked the country when it made national headlines.
From CNN to The New York Times, the case attracted famous attorneys, spawned a made-for-TV movie, compelled almost 1000 people to attend Gwen Araujo's memorial service and thousands more to march in the streets demanding justice. Trained in the Ways of Men is an exploration of the provocative complexities of gender identity; what does it mean to be a man or a woman?
Leaving no stone unturned, Director Shelly Prevost scrupulously examines the murder trial and provides numerous interviews with Gwen Araujo's mother Sylvia and the attorneys involved in the case. Trained in the Ways of Men ultimately encourages us to turn the camera on ourselves and unearth our own buried prejudices and fears.
Buy the DVD at Cinequest Online
Watch Trained in the Ways of Men on Jaman NOW
A video tribute to Gwen Amber Rose Araujo ---',-@ :
Rest In Peace, My Beautiful Sister.
Friday, October 3, 2008
From The Fast Guide For Vegetarians & Vegans:
The term semi-vegetarian is usually used to describe someone who is a vegetarian who consumes dairy products, eggs, chicken, and fish, but does not consume other animal flesh.
Ovo-lacto vegetarians are vegetarians who do not consume meat, poultry, fish, and seafood, but do consume eggs and milk. This is the largest group of vegetarians.
Ovo-vegetarian is a term used to describe someone who would be a vegan if they did not consume eggs.
Lacto-vegetarian is a term used to describe someone who would be a vegan if they did not consume milk.
Vegan is the strictest sub-category of vegetarians. Vegans do not consume any animal products or by-products. Some go as far as not even consuming honey and yeast. Others do not wear any clothing made from animal products.
Important: Take some time to figure out for yourself, what group you will
belong to when you become a vegetarian. You will want to consider both dietary
and ethical reasons for choosing this lifestyle.
As far as my understanding of soya bean milk goes (someone correct me if I am wrong), it does not contain animal stuff inside. So I will substitute milk with soya bean milk. I know I will need some protein, therefore I will stick with eggs. So that makes me a Lacto-Vegetarian! I do know I will have a surmountable amount of meat cravings being quite heavy on that, but several sites on the net assured me that once I started I will find the taste of meat to be under control to a point within a few months, meat would not really matter to me. I may even find it disgusting! The results will be in a few months.
In addition to that, I decided to completely cut off my carbohydrates. I really do find myself unable to control my weight once I eat rice. And there is something about rice that makes me sleepy. So I believe good things would come out of this diet. In the meantime, I am going to eat my last rice and meat meal for supper. And I realized one thing too, a rice and meet meal would cost approximately RM 5.50 to RM 7.50. But a nice fulfilling spinach egg soup would only cost RM 4.00. So here I go on my humble veggie journey. Will let you all know the progress of this veggie diet incrementally. So here I go!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Would any decent organization with HONOUR, reward such a bigot? No. This is really disgraceful.
Tell The Radio Hall of Fame To Not Honor James Dobson.
The Museum of Broadcast Communications has announced it will induct right wing extremist James Dobson into its Radio Hall of Fame. Dobson runs a so-called ex-gay program and has said that allowing gay people to marry will destroy the earth. In the past two years, at least seven researchers in three countries have accused Dobson of
distorting their research to back his anti-gay teachings.
Unless the Museum reverses its outrageous and offensive decision to honor this dishonest demagogue, Truth Wins Out will join the Gay Liberation Network and a coalition of Chicago organizations to protest the annual Radio Hall of Fame awards dinner.
The protest is scheduled for Saturday, Nov. 8, 5:30 PM 7:30 PM, at the Renaissance Chicago Hotel, 1 W Wacker Drive.
E-Mail Radio Hall of Fame CEO Bruce Dumont, email@example.com, and urge him to withdraw Dobsons honor.
Original air date on CAN-TV, cable access in Chicago: August 8, 2008.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
The Best From The Archives Of "The Journey Of Yuki" - Unhealthy Heterosexual Lifestyle: Pastor Ho Yeow Sun Makes Asian Sexy Good In The US.
Ah yes! The super sexy heterosexual lifestyle is so good and ever ready to be flaunted, even by a former pastor who is now a 37-year old hip swinging sensation!
This self proclaimed 'geisha' was a former pastor of City Harvest Church, Singapore (which she later vehemently denied, even though most Singaporeans seemed to have warmed up to her as a the 'singing pastor'. Yes dears, being heterosexual and flaunting it with your butt gives you a license to lie).
She and her husband, Reverend Dr Kong Hee, built an empire of a church:
Still, she is a hot heterosexual Christian cookie as she hollered out with a Asian Beyonce twist on da floor. And she even wants to get more sexier!
Better yet... City Harvest Church is promoting her name and albums!....
This is the video link. Gosh! I am speechless! I wish I could pull off those moves!
Here are some biography listings about her:
An interview with her with more of her pics is available at the next link. With these kinds of responses from her here, it is really difficult to believe she was once a shepard of a flock of tenths of thousands of members!
You see, heterosexuals are the superior sexual orientation (as proclaimed by Christians), so when nice homosexuals hold hands, it is a no no. But when you are a Christian and trained in a Bible college, you can revel in your hetero-SEXUALITY! It is a passport to sexiness freedom!
Yuki's choice reading:
These are the selection of reactions about Pastor Sun Ho @ Pastor Ho Yeow Sun from several blogsites in Singapore. We all can agree one thing. She is a bad example to young Christians, a hell of a worldly Christian and a shame to Christianity the religion.
But who cares, when you are living a heterosexual lifestyle!
Published in "The Journey Of Yuki" on Wednesday, October 10, 2007