Wednesday, December 31, 2008

What's On Yuki's Mind: When I Was A Child.

This photo is probably the best visual description of how I felt the first time I realised there was something wrong with me when I was a young transsexual child.

(Tip Of The Hat: Syama Ramasamy)

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Blast From The Past: Nike - Good Vs Evil (1996).

This is for me, the best soccer advertisement I had ever seen.

Still feels incredible watching it again.

Most of them were the top soccer stars in their prime on that time.

Hope you like it as much as I do...

.... especially with the presence the mercurial French man himself!

Eric Cantona, Ronaldo, Paolo Maldini, Luis Figo, Patrick Kluivert, Edgar Davids, Ian Wright, Manuek Rui Costa, Thomas Brolin, Jose Campos.

Friday, December 26, 2008

What Makes A Person Gay #2: Melvin Wong.

Melvin Wong was said to have been kicked out from the American Psychiatric Association. Gee, I wonder why... but it is no wonder that he shows such disdain for APA materials here enough to quote them out of context, and supports Focus On The Family's pseudo-"science". They always makes a mockery out of Dr. Robert Spitzer's research. What does Dr. Spitzer has say on this:

So said the real doctor. But the snake oil doctor Melvin has other plans. He is content to tell you that it is all because of your parents and environment. And that you gay men do not know that you are men. Is it not amazing that none of my gay friends identity as women? Heck even my cross-dressing sistas is proud of their libido. Duh!

Here is his list of Melvin Wong's famous Gender Identity Disorder types...

Sexual Sadism
Transvestic Fetishism

... and Melvin Wong is going to leave you blind with a warning at the end of this slide....:

Most are victims of sexual abuse?!

Let us see, what exactly should we do with Melvin Wong's research?

Yuki's Choice Reading:
Why? Oh, why do Focus On The Family and their buddies have to lie?! (examples here:)

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

So... Christmas Eve Is Here....

24th of December is supposed to be a beautiful day. In my last Christmas eve as a member of a church, we went caroling and then spent some time in an Indian-Muslim restaurant after that. For the few years after, my friends and me went out and spent super party X-nights at the jam packed Ipoh Garden East pubs and clubs area, the playground during my early young adult years. 4 years ago, with my last girlfriend who nearly became my fiancé in my last months of boy acting, we went out and painted the town literally in the red of Christmas. And almost a year ago, I married my Australian husband.

That screwed it all up. Of all the days I can choose, I chose, Christmas. So I have something to cherish for the rest of my life (presumably). When I returned to Malaysia after my wedding, tomorrow was supposed to be the day I am fully operated and reunited with my husband. Now I am alone, struggling to gain back my confidence and life. My so-called husband? He is now a psycho who believes he and his ex-wife are alien hybrids and last I heard, he is waiting to his makers (those pesky aliens of course) to come. He has been rather quiet since his alien-lunatic inspiration announced that his extra-terrestrial friends will come October 14th this year. Because of course, reality of life is against that.

So the aliens never made it, he lost his wife, now with his ex-wife, I am still pre-operative and I will should be dating again soon. And I do not have much to go on. Speaking of that dating thingy, choices are few and far between. I could not bring myself to love pure men anymore, and women in my life may never accept me for my form as a transsexual female. I can never be fully femme, and I have to accept that. So I will still be looking.

I am stuck in a project job probably until some economic recovery on both personal and world front. I am back in struggling to secure my car from being towed away, and I did not update on my donation drives because there is nothing to update. Except that two of my dearest overseas friends sending the last two PayPal donations. It is amazing how the power of love drives people, and me. And with this love power, I have been all out concentrating on advocacy for LGBTs, going to events and making new friends along the way while addressing issues closest to my heart. At least that would help me stop hurting.

So I am going to destroy every photo that has my husband in it tomorrow. And I am going to make my Christmas beautiful somehow. I also hope that this blogsite has touched and inspired all of you reading it. I am still growing and learning and will still stand up for the community which I have come to love. And to all of you, seasons greetings of peace. Please drive carefully to your lezzie and gay clubbing destinations if you are a party-goer. If you are with your partners, have a beautiful silent night. If you are alone, someone here is lonely too. To all of you, A Merry And Blessed Christmas.

With Love, Yuki Choe.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Unhealthy Heterosexual Lifestyle: From The Archives Of The Mighty Box Turtle Bulletin - An Example Of How Straight Marriages Lead To Many Sinful Acts.

This is really screwed! (literally). Now, I have many straight friends. In fact, I can boast that I have more straight friends (you can check out my Facebook if you do not believe me) than Rick Warren, who has only published one book “The Purpose Driven Life” to save his own sorry life, who was invited to minister at Barack Obama’s inauguration (and who opposes his gay “friend’s” marriage the same way he opposes to child rape, incest and polygamy). Well, I think we all should oppose all marriages, especially these straight marriages, because they may lead to sleeping with animals and sexually abusing children! I mean, just look at this fine example.

The wife has sex with her dog and a 15-year old teenager. While the husband takes photos!

Therefore, it is an awesome lie that gay marriages is bad if you think about it. (><) A little commentary by Jim Burroway:

This couple is legally married, and the state of Florida thinks their marriage is perfectly dandy. Florida schoolchildren are being taught that their marriage is just as good as anyone else’s — except for gay people. Because, you know, that’s a much bigger threat to marriage than people who have sex with dogs and with 15-year-old family friends.

I demand the Proposition 8 campaign to review the constitutional amendment that marriage is between man and woman. Ban marriage! Just have civil unions! No marriage, no big sin of divorce!

And no dirty nonsense such as these!

Thank you, Box Turtle Bulletin, for exposing this abomination called heterosexuality.

Friday, December 19, 2008

The Best From The Archives Of "The Journey Of Yuki" – Nong Tum.

This post is dedicated to a fiery lady that needs no introduction, an ode to a transsexual female who leads by example to never let anyone intimidate her.

She is Parinya Kiatbusaba (or Parinya Charoenphol), better known to all of us as Nong Tum.

In one of her most notable fights >.

In her final fight. In the movie 'Beautiful Boxer', it is mentioned that it is after this fight in which she is starting to feel conflicted with her love for Muay Thai, her treatment by fight organizers as a circus show and her wanting to be her true girl self. It was then she withdrew from the sport under pressure from Muay Thai traditions of not allowing females to fight and complete her SRS.

The trailer for the movie "Beautiful Boxer". The movie won tons of allocades including Best Actor at the Thai Academy Awards for Asanee Suwan who played Nong Tum, and several other international awards such as:

- Torino International Gay & Lesbian Film Festival – Best Feature Film, winner (2004)

- Thailand National Film Association Awards – Best Actor Asanee Suwan, winner; Best Makeup Kraisorn Sampethchareon, winner (2004)

- San Sebasti√°n International Film Festival – Sebastian Award, winner (2004)

- Milan International Lesbian and Gay Film Festival – Best Film, winner (2004)

- Outfest Achievement Award – Outstanding Emerging Talent, Ekachai Uekrongtham (2004)

- GLAAD Media Awards – Outstanding Film Limited Release, nominated (2006)

Nong Tum makes a special guest appearance in this movie as a beauty therapist, and Nong Tum's last opponent Kyoko Inoue plays herself, re-enecting the final fight in the movie.

Some photos of Nong Tum then and now here:

Yuki's Choice Reading:

Nong Tum On National Geographic.
Nong Tum's profile in Wikipedia.

Published in "The Journey Of Yuki" on Sunday, March 9, 2008

Yuki's Funnies: Friday Night Pick Up Lines... And How To Tackle Them....

Thursday, December 18, 2008

There Is Still A Life At 69 Years Of Age... Here Is Proof....

This is still the same old Tina Turner, singing one of her big hits “The Best”.

She just turned 69 end of last month! And here she was performing at this year’s Grammy Awards! She can still sing!

And she is embarking on another world tour!

Makes you think seriously about living your life to the fullest, yes? Gee... I wonder where will I be at 69....

Yuki's Choice Reading: Tina Turner On Wikipedia.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Real Love Ministry Makes Slight Changes On Definitions... But Still Far Off The Mark....

Edmund Smith of the ex-gay Real Love Ministry made some adjustments in the list of “definitions” at his website.

As last reported from my TJOY blog, this is the previous one:

Now it is this:

Transgender: One whose psychological gender is opposite to his/her biological gender

Transsexual: A transgender who has chosen to live ones life as the opposite sex

Transvestite: A person who dresses up as the opposite gender for performances & etc

Alas, it is still far off. “One whose psychological gender is opposite to his/her biological gender” is actually the definition of a transsexual, not transgender. And a transsexual do not choose to live ones life as the opposite sex. It is already imprinted in the brain sex as the psychological gender.

At least, he now has got “transvestite” correct, which is commendable to one extent.

Now, if only he understands the real definitions, in the easiest to read form:

Transgender (TG):
A term used to include transsexuals, transgenderists and transvestites/ Crossdressers.

Transsexual (TS):
A person who feels a consistent and overwhelming desire to transition and fulfill their lives as members of the opposite gender. These individuals have usually been diagnosed as such, by a psychologist or psychiatrist as having GID. Most transsexuals actively desire and complete Sexual-Reassignment Surgery. Transsexuals live or are in the process of living full time as the opposite gender, whether non, pre or post-op.

Transvestite (TV):
The Latin and clinical name for "Crossdresser". A person who dresses in the clothing of the opposite sex for fetishistic reasons and has no desire to transition.

Or better still. Stop even mentioning anything about transgenders, especially when he is not an authority on transgenders, parrots his own opinions as “education”, and knows nothing about transgenders. Heck, he does not even have sources to put forth. Well what do you expect, when he believes in the dismissed-even-by-PFOX-and-NARTH-Richard-Cohen; and also quotes religious biased “research” from NARTH. I guess he will never use peer-previewed research from respectable medical professionals and scientists on boards with scientific authority, especially when it will tear his dogmatic teachings apart.

But what can you expect from a person who thinks homosexuality is nothing but an activity, a “lifestyle”? I guess illogical and irrational thinking take time to “cure”.

Monday, December 15, 2008

What’s On Yuki’s Mind: Gender Confusion.

Try as I may, and I had; I know that I am never going to be even more than 20 percent a presentable boy. Doing my utmost best, I can reach 80% of what a girl is and can be, but never 100% because I am never going to get pregnant, and missed an accumulated two and a half decades of life as who I am, a female. This is what I know in certain terms, and what I tell people if they ask. And I am comfortable living my life just as anyone else.

I asked one of my good buddies Sam over some drinks the other night. I asked him, "Are you a boy?". He answered, “YES!”. I asked him of his attractions and he immediately said, “I cannot help it. I really like boys. It is just in me”. Another of my friends recently got first place in a debate competition. She negotiated her arguments very well in order to build bridges with those who may not understand nor agree with her. You can read it here.

Now let us look up our beloved dictionary to find out the meaning of “confusion”.

the act of confusing.

the state of being confused.

disorder; upheaval; tumult; chaos: The army retreated in confusion.

lack of clearness or distinctness: a confusion in his mind between right and wrong.

perplexity; bewilderment: The more difficult questions left us in complete confusion.

embarrassment or abashment: He blushed in confusion

Psychiatry. a disturbed mental state; disorientation.

Archaic. defeat, overthrow, or ruin.

Now, many people would have heard of ex-gay ministries parroting the myth that LGBTs are “gender confused”. This includes Melvin Wong of Focus On The Family (Singapore) and Edmund Smith of Real Love Ministry (Malaysia). So can you find any single hint of “confusion” in the examples of people I had given ealier? No? Guess so.

Friday, December 12, 2008

The Best From The Archives Of "The Journey Of Yuki" - Yuki's Funnies: Calpernia Addams Presents "Bad Questions".

I would have no time for you if you have the urge to ask me anything in regards to transsexuals... so I would leave it to a prominent dear advocate from the US....

"Bad Questions - Questions Never To Ask A Transsexual Person" by Calpernia Addams.

(At TJOY, the old version was used. This video shown here now is the director's cut.)

Yuki's Choice Reading:

For more on Calpernia Addams:

Her Life.
Her Profile.
Her New Reality Show.

Yes, it is a her you dumb (beep)!

Published in "The Journey Of Yuki" on Sunday, March 2, 2008



The No. 1 Calpernia Addams Hater... Gives A Piece Of Her Mind Here....

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

What Makes A Transsexual, A Transsexual?

Early this year, an article called "Studies on gender identity disorder" was published, detailing what is known so far about biological causes of gender identity disorder in transsexual women.

The genetic components of transsexualism came out late this year, 2008:

IN THE largest ever genetic study of transsexuals, Australian researchers have discovered a DNA variation linked to male-to-female transsexualism.

The research confirmed that transsexuality was not a lifestyle decision, as some had suggested, said another team member, Trudy Kennedy, the director of the Monash Gender Dysphoria Clinic in Melbourne.

A gene variant has been identified that appears to be associated with female-to-male transsexuality - the feeling some women have that they belong to the opposite sex.

"This is in line with what we previously know about masculinisation of the brain and is therefore less likely to be a chance finding", he says. "Hence, the study is important and adds to the notion that gender identity is influenced by sex hormones early in life, and that certain gene combinations make individuals more vulnerable to aberrant effects."


Brain May 'Hard-Wire' Sexuality Before Birth.

“Our findings may explain why we feel male or female, regardless of our actual anatomy,” Vilain said. “These discoveries lend credence to the idea that being transgender — feeling that one has been born into the body of the wrong sex — is a state of mind.

Male-to-Female Transsexuals Have Female Neuron Numbers in a Limbic Nucleus

The number of neurons in the BSTc of male-to-female transsexuals was similar to that of the females (P = 0.83). In contrast, the neuron number of a female-to-male transsexual was found to be in the male range. Hormone treatment or sex hormone level variations in adulthood did not seem to have influenced BSTc neuron numbers. The present findings of somatostatin neuronal sex differences in the BSTc and its sex reversal in the transsexual brain clearly support the paradigm that in transsexuals sexual differentiation of the brain and genitals may go into opposite directions and point to a neurobiological basis of gender identity disorder.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Transgender Day Of Remembrance Malaysia 2008.

I am fortunate and thankful to be invited to share during TDoR Malaysia 2008.

Many members of the LGBT were preoccupied with work for the coming World Aids Day 2008. Many more were unable to make it on that weekend. But it was a day to remember for the 20 plus people who came for the inaugural Transgender Day of
Remembrance 2008 in Malaysia. It was a day people will talk about; a day of mourning and hope for a better future for us who are different. Some were curious straights while some were just there to watch the movie due to be shown. But all of them left with the message in tact, one that prays for compassion and a wish to be loved for who we are.

Read more here.