Friday, January 30, 2009

How Do I Do... ? I Am.... O-O

It is over. Chinese New Year is over. And pretty soon I will have to go back to work. The dream holiday of going back to Ipoh failed to happen. And the car accident I had last Saturday dampened most of my celebratory mood. I still managed to join some of my friends for RM 1 poker and had been fetched out to pubs every night from Saturday till Wednesday. I also watched a good few episodes of “House” from Season 3. Plus, surprisingly, I managed to receive some “Red Packets” and was able to catch some decent sleep the past few days of Chinese New Year. And I went to KLCC. What a season.

I will be starting work real soon with a lot of thoughts on my mind. The journey to un-glutton myself have already started, thanks to the inaccessibility of Chinese food this season. I had eaten too much Indian-Muslim food that I now loathe another taste of it. I believe I had enough of going out and I am ready to thrust myself more onto my bed. The car accident really changed my personality. I seem to have become less afraid of cockroaches, able to brave myself to spray them to death and use a sweep to get them away. And I am more at peace with myself and able to get more sleep. And I am ready.

Again, yes, I am ready. But I should not tell you what I am ready for. I am already fad up with always placing expectations on myself that seem to fail. So I will just keep quiet and let my body do the magic, step by step. I am happy today. I saw the Barclays Premier League table this morning, and with my favourite team facing Everton while Liverpool and Chelsea squaring off, a draw for the latter will cap my Chinese New Year season. This season had been one full of moments with great reflecting. There are people still trying to coerce me to be a “boy”. Some are still scrutinizing me because I am transsexual.

Yeah! Manchester United FC is on top and clear with a game in hand! Hurrah!

But hey, I got a great gift today! I spent some time with good friends who care for me. And tomorrow I will be spending a lot of time alone. I am dreaming of Tata Young! Why? You will all soon find out within the next couple of months when I turn 33 (Oops! I outed my age). But I feel strange these days. Usually, I will feel tired of living and find myself old and almost all used up. But somehow I am looking forward to being well into my 30s and still feel young. I wonder is it because I am with a bunch of younger writers in Tilted World. Or maybe I have been mixing around with a lot of young girls.

The writers of Tilted World (after me, clockwise: Sam, Dom, Att and Gab)

Or perhaps I was staring up above the beautiful Petronas Twin Towers and remembered that moment years ago when I first went there. I recall what I had set out to do with my life. Transsexual advocacy is a losing fight in this country. But there are some ways to move forward. And if I am able to get people to progress a step ahead in the realization of the truth about transgenders and transsexuals, which consist 2% of the world’s population with sexual ambiguities whether chromosomal, psychological or biological; and developing understanding while breaking some underlying myths about us, then I can finally proclaim at my deathbed that I have lived. Being buried “Female” would be cool too.

I do not have a camera. But this photo taken from Wikipedia will do to admire the Petronas Twin Towers KLCC.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Prayers For Bobby.

“Prayers For Bobby” was shown over at Lifetime channel two nights ago in the United States. It stars Sigourney Weaver as a mother (Mary Griffith) who tried very hard to convert her son (Bobby Griffith, played by Ryan Kelley) away from homosexuality, with major consequences. It shows just how dangerous it is to attempt to de-gay someone, especially youths.

There had been a high number of gay, lesbian and even and transgender suicides (read more about transgenders in this situation here) across the decades, many related to attempts to “change” homosexuality by means of prayer and reparative therapy. There will be more, mostly teenagers. But this fact is often silenced by many ex-gay organizations, as such Focus On The Family (FOTF) even tried to scare people from watching this movie. The truth remains that ex-gay organizations such as FOTF are responsible for spreading myths about homosexuality and transgenderism, to the point of creating paranoid parents who drag their children to de-gay them, spending tens of thousands of dollars. And these groups continue to demonize the LGBT community.

I highly recommend the book, written by Leroy Aarons, and the movie when it is available for sale on DVD. It speaks to a lot of people who have attempted to change their sexual identity and sexual orientation, having their person and emotions badly damaged. It is an eye opener also for those who think that gays are just a “lifestyle” and can be changed. A glimpse into dear Bobby’s life shows just how dreadfully wrong those presumptions are.

Yuki's Choice Readings:
- Ex-Gay Watch's David Roberts, shares his thoughts on this movie.
- I helped stopped an anti-gay troll from making dogmatic claims about homosexuality, but was strangely accused of homophobia by this Ryan Kelley fan who uploaded this video on YouTube.
Update: It seemed that this Ryan Kelley fan had removed all my comments from the YouTube page. Luckily, I have Google Cache to thank. Unfortunately, it failed to get RyanKelleyTV's weirdly baseless comments about me. Nevertheless, the conversation with NOTHGIF is still cool!

Vivienne: Redux.

As many would have noticed, I had taken down the donation drive notices. It has been an embarrassing situation for me, and I cannot tolerate my conditions any longer. It had come to a point that I rather die in dignity than to ask like a beggar. It is better to receive without asking. And I realize too that many friends are distancing themselves from me, and I have no complaints about that. I always remember the saying of my ex-boss, who is one of my closest friends, that money destroys friendships. It is becoming true for me and my friends. I do however, wish to point out that I will still treasure the moments I was saved from falling down.

It has also come to my attention that there are some quarters that had been bad mouthing me. I have no qualms about that, because I do know that time will prove everything wrong, and that those who really know me would be sticking by me and those who do not would reject me. God knows how I am feeling right now, because I no longer know who my true friends are. But I do know that I still have love and support from my real friends.

In the period of half a year my weight ballooned 15 kg. I became somewhat an alcoholic. I abused my body by beating myself up, crashing my skull against the wall. I cannot sleep. I live with so many regrets, too many dramas, than I can actually take. I am lonely, and depressed. The only thing I still managed to maintain is my celibacy. Other aspects of my life crashed. But the love that all my friends shared with me kept me alive. So I offer my sincere thanks and gratitude to all of you, foreign and local. I will remember all of you.

The ghost of Yuki’s past came into my life. He went all the way to kick start my life. I learnt the true value of being human, and to minister to other humans. He also reminded me of the pain and suffering I got from not accepting myself the way I am. And from the dangling rope of near utter disaster he pulled me up. And make sure I have the spirit to move on. Then, came the ghost of Yuki’s present. He too supported me for the past one month. He pushed me to continue on my journey, and made sure I am free from some of the burdens that befall me. He never gave up, always giving me hope that I needed.

As fast as both came, for some reasons they are gone, and they suddenly became not contactable. I was involved in a near fatal car crash a few days back, and even though it was a shocking experience for me leaving me having some sleepless nights, I started appreciating my life a bit more. I had attempted to take my life so many times but God just do not wish me to come home just like that. As such, I am waking up to the reality that there are so much to do in my life. And new adventures and dramas are coming in.

The ghost of Yuki’s future then appeared. The answer lies in her. Yes, I remember her. With her I was confident, sexy, always having a never say die attitude. She was slim, pretty, intelligent, eloquent, an example of a good transitioning transsexual female. When she was with me, we shared many journeys in our lives, some incredible moments that one cannot possibly imagine. But I hated her because I blamed her for being so stupid believing in the wrong man. I cannot take it that she had been so unprepared for the things that happened, all across the Chonburi debacle. I wanted her out. So I killed her off.

But Viva returned to me that day when I was nearly flung out my car. She reminded me to be accountable to all the beautiful angels that came my way; one that got me a project job, one that is determined to put me on the Malaysian map, one that accepted me into the girl’s circle, one that spares me the occasional aid… there are so many angles around me. She reminded me that there are so many people who cared for me, and now that I am standing, it is time I start running again. Now I realize. Shit happens and no one can be blamed. Then a call came in. It was my ex-boss Gerard.

“Vivienne! Where are you? We are waiting for you to play cards at the factory.”

Vivienne. She is here with me. She is alive to answer the call. She is here to stay with me, and tell me it is time for me to be whole again. And with the faith and love all of you gave to me that had carried me throughout these months, I now know I must go on and fly. I believe that is the best gift I can give to all of you. And I will pay this love and friendship forward. I thank all of you for bringing me through. I am strong again. I cherish all of you for reminding me my worth and quality of life. And most of all, thanks for bringing Vivienne back.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

An Amateurish, At Times Stupid Rushed Story Of A Some-what Transgender.

This is CRAZY. I do not know whether to laugh, to cry or to be angry with this. Leave aside that these students seemed to have no knowledge of Sex Reassignment Surgery, the differences between those born with Gender Identity Disorder with cross-dressing tendencies and the horribly bad acting. But do I really look like that boy when I was young, huh? Are sex-change surgeries so simple that it does not even need a letter from a psychiatrist (if he goes to an illegal one, he would have probably been dead). Sickening!

But the message was ironically good in some sense, though I find it a total insult that the creator of this video downgraded transsexuals like me to a mere stick and balls issue even though facts says otherwise. So I forgive the complete idiocy of it and their utter non-understanding of transsexuals, because of the story involved (and the ending is funny).

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Growing Up A Transsexual Child.

You are an Asian. You are very sure of it. No one taught you this, and you can relate to other Asians even though you do not know why. And you feel confident with who you are. Then you go home, and strip off your clothes and stand naked in front of the mirror. You are not an Asian as you thought you are. That is what is happening to me every single day of my life. I do know I am a girl. But there is something that is not right at the mirror’s reflection. I lack certain qualities of a girl. And I know very well I am not a boy.

When I was a child, I did not know what sex or gender is. Like most any other kid, I had the license to explore; to roam around the house, touch objects I find fascinating at that time and feel the environment around me. I used all of my senses; from my eyes and ears to my nose right down to my feet as I learnt to stand and sit. Later, I learnt to run. I was growing, and soon the sense of realizing my existence came. But still, I was no boy or girl. I was a child. I could not care any less what I was wearing. In some of my baby photos, I can see the cartoon of Ultraman in front of my top. But, there was no gender.

I recall watching shows like Electric Company with the very much younger Morgan Freeman. I remember the episodes of Spider-Man inside. At that time I was already around five years old. At six, I attended the kindergarten. I was a proud child, always scoring A’s with a “star” the teachers always put on my result paper. I mixed well with every other child there is. The teachers love me. I was a very proud adorable child.

Then at the age of seven, my life was suddenly turned upside down. I questioned my mother, why I cannot go to the school with that gang I was comfortable with? Why am I squeezed into a school with a bunch of loud children? Why this and why that. I became shy and a recluse, but still I was able to adapt and scored some wonderful grades. I loved studying when I was a small kid. When I reached primary three, I was the joint top student for the entire primary. But by ten, my life took a turn into the worse, a horrible nightmare.

It started when I realize the bunch of kids I can relate to started to feel pain on their chest muscles. I did not. And their mothers told them it was normal. I thought I would feel the same pain, but I did not. Then in class, I was taught that there was this thing called BOY and GIRL. I remembered all these being taught to me before, but never in such detail. Then I realized immediately I am not wearing the same uniform as the bunch of kids I related to wore. In the middle of that year, I recall shame about my body every time there was the physical education class. I felt I really do not want people staring at me.

At the age of eleven, I was already the most abused student in my school. I hid in the toilet often when there were no other children around, because I feel very shy at peeing with what I know now as boys. And every time they find me, I was beaten up very badly. But the blame was on me as I was escorted to the discipline teacher’s office, and being branded a problem “boy”. How I despised that tag. Then later that year, something happened. My friend, a girl, told me she thought she was dying but her mom told her it was normal that she bleeds from between her thighs. I wonder why, but I was not bleeding.

At twelve, my mother told me that I should not make it a habit to squat when I pee, that only girls do that. I felt puzzled by that statement, and I asked my mother. She then told me that boys have that “thing” and girls do not have “it”. At that point I panicked. I felt like an alien. I attempted to remove that “thing” by trying to remove it using the drawer and the table, but did not succeed. Later, I realized my friends are growing things on their chests and I am not. For the first time in my life I felt abnormal. I am not the being they called, a “girl”.

I complained to my parents over my “boy” hybrid experiences and all I got was a trip to see the psychiatrist. It is a passing phase that will go by, he says. By then, rumours were all around school that I “masturbated” in class (It was actually another attempt at removing that”thing”), that I was gay (and got badly bruised and abused because of it). Every time I insisted I was a girl I got at best, ridiculed. At worst, I was dragged somewhere again to be beaten. By the time I was thirteen, friends (boys) that I had at primary 3 are now my bullies and enemies. Friends (girls) distanced themselves from me when they realized I was a “boy”.

I was alone in all this. My parents just did not understand me, but they did realize I am different. No one knows what to do with me, not even my school counselor. My grades suffered, even though I liked studying. I know I am a girl, but no one believed me. My mother and father soon were very mean towards me, probably because of my grades and the complaints they were getting from the school. It was amazing though. I was beaten up badly, but was singled out as the cause, that I disturbed the boys or trying to be funny with them. I tried to run away, but failed.

My childhood days were riddled with fear, pain and tears. There was no one to support me, no one to accept me, and everyone even my parents is telling me that I should be a “boy”. But I already knew that I am a girl. What is a boy? I cannot even begin to describe it. All I knew then was to be in my room listening to the radio, or watching the TV at the living room. I wanted to get away from the world. People were so mean. I felt tied up and strangled. I did not even understand what exactly people want from me, so I decided what I want. I just wanted to be who I really am. That was when I started looking at the mirror. I immediately knew what was wrong. I was abnormal. I looked like an ugly freak.

I want to be me. I desire to have an appearance of me. I need to get myself my real bodily being. And that was how I was born... again....

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Do I Know I Am A Girl When I Was A Child? Of Course!

… kids start out as kids… they don’t know…. (Glenn Stanton on the CBS show Dr Phil)

My answer to the above? Mr. Stanton, you may think you are very smart and you can bully children and paranoid parents into submission to your dogmas but unfortunately, I knew when I was a child and still know I am a girl today. The thing is, I am now an adult and capable of thinking for myself. And one day, these very kids you bully are going to become adults too. And they are not torn between deciding whether they are a girl or a boy. They know exactly who they are. Many KNEW since they were young, and still KNOW. Looks like the only one that is confused here is "Little Focus Therapist Lost" who could not see through one's gender identity.

The subject of transgender children was discussed on Dr. Phil and the title of one of the shows described exactly what most folks think of transgender children. GENDER CONFUSED KIDS. Glenn Stanton, a member from the audientce of the show from Focus On The Family (FOTF), believes transgender kids “mimics adult concepts that she got from somewhere”, and wonders who is leading and following. In other words, he expects parents to lead the child to the “correct” gender and kids should be tacitly forced to follow it until they are proud of their gender identity. FOTF often blames parents for transgender children.

Then on his latest show, again with a very misleading title, this time LITTLE BOY LOST. It focused on a mother who raised a transgender child and affirming her gender identity, only to be wrongly accused of confusing the child further based on the theories and pseudo-sciences by NARTH’s Joseph Nicolosi and again, Glenn Stanton. I take issue on this because of the obvious frame of thinking that Dr. Phil has. The question posed, “What do you think is the best way to treat a child with gender identity confusion?”, already invalidated my experiences and my story as a transgender child, to a mere “confusion”.

I have been lost on a lot of things. I have been confused at many points in my life. But never in the 30 plus years I walked this earth, have I ever been confused about my gender, or sex. I may sometimes walk out sporting the jersey of my favourite English football team for more than two decades, Manchester United. I am a social drinker and a trying-to-quit smoker. I hardly wear make-up unless I am in the mood. In fact, I can be anything masculine or feminine, and yet neither of these terms bother me. But who am I? A girl. I am 100% sure of this ever since I was a young child just beginning to realize the world I live in.

Of course, there will be men who like to dress as women but still identity as men and vice versa, and yet they are never confused. They just wish to dress up the opposite of their gender identity or as a hobby or convenience or for some reason I am not in position to judge, and most I know are married to their opposite sex partners. Some are out and open about it especially women and most of the men I know are not. Still they know very well who they are. All of them can definitely relate to me in some matters, but not all because I am still different from them being a transsexual female, and I did not choose this.

One of the many things people ask me is, when did I realize I was born different. My reply was simple and I try to make it clear to avoid more confusion. Contrary to what most people would say, when I was a child I did not “know it”, or “feel” like a girl trapped in a boy’s body. In fact I was not even concerned about that when I was young. The only recollection of my youth includes jumping around inside my father’s Volkswagen and being scolded by my mother countless times. I remember walking in the park with my parents and feeding fishes there with bread. I recall playing badminton with my father and brother.

The only “feminine” thing I did that I can think of back then, was watching “Care Bears” and “My Little Pony and Friends”. But funny thing is, I was hammered with enough “G.I. Joe” and “ThunderCats”, watched and played football, done enough “masculine” things, to be "boy" brainwashed enough by FOTF and NARTH’S standards; and still if you asked me who I am? I am a girl. This is exactly the same thoughts I had when I was a child. Yes, I was, and still am, close to both my father and my mother. So do I sound like “little boy lost” or “confused”? Well, the only thing that confused me was when my parents placed me in a boy’s school when I was 7.

Next On Yuki's Box Of Chocolates: Growing Up A Transsexual Child.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Hidden Message: Hey Jude - Beatles.

Wikipedia wrote this in regards to this Beatles classic hit:

"Hey Jude" is a song by the English rock band The Beatles that was recorded in 1968. Originally titled "Hey Jules", the ballad was written by Paul McCartney—and credited to Lennon/McCartney—to comfort John Lennon's son Julian during his parents' divorce.

Oh… really? Take a closer look at the lyrics yourself….

Hey jude, dont make it bad.
Take a sad song and make it better.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it better.

Hey jude, dont be afraid.
You were made to go out and get her.

Dont carry the world upon your shoulders.
For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool

By making his world a little colder.

Hey jude, dont let me down.
You have found her, now go and get her.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it better.




And dont you know that its just you, hey jude, youll do,


Hey jude, dont make it bad.
Take a sad song and make it better.

Na na na na na ,na na na, hey jude...

*** Gosh… what... a… CLIMAX…. ***

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Open Forum: Transgenders And Transsexuals (What really is the difference?)

This is an open forum. With permission from Mercedes Allen and Zoe Brain, I would continue the discussion that started here and then here:

This is a no holds barred discussion. You all have the freedom to speak your entire mind.

Because this is a Malaysian blog, there is only the below:

Dislaimer: No anti-religious comments allowed. I shall hold no responsibility to the comments. The views expressed in the commentary here may not be views shared by me.

Thank you,
Best Regards, Yuki Choe.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

A Farewell Party, An Absent Friend, And A Love To Share.

I went to my young friend Dominic Lucien Luk’s farewell party last night. Fancy seeing Raymond Tai there and had a good discussion, one which we have not had for a very long time. I was however very disappointed with Sam Nasser who was daydreaming about himself and a plane crash, when Dominic really wanted to see him before he leaves on a real jet plane tomorrow. I wish he would at least had the manners to call and tell us he was not coming, and he stops being selfish thinking about his own hurts when a friend is going off and wants to see him. Perhaps in a way, I am reflecting on my own reactions.

Anyway, Dominic obliged when I asked him to demonstrate his piano skills yesterday after the party. And he did his best to play me a semblance of this song by David Foster. This song is 19 years old, back in the times of Fame and Footloose, and it is still relevant today. It is such an abstract that anyone would have their own stories to tell when they interpret this song. For me, it is for the hope of the future after a broken heart and a tortured soul. It is a renewal of my faith to love again and vary it to friends and family.

I hereby dedicate this song, one of my favourite instrumentals of all time, to:

- Dominic as he pursues love at Boston (He had a great year 2008! He was Bachelor no 12 in Cleo’s 50 Most Eligible Bachelors!)

- Sam as he loses love in Malaysia (He had a bad year 2008 because of it. Ironically, my ex-husband is also called Sam.)

Love by fate will start,

and love in time will end,

But love on truth will never die,

because love at best will always be in you.

- Yuki Choe.

Yuki's Easy Listening:
Love Theme From St Elmo's Fire (with vocals):
For Just A Moment -David Foster featuring Donny Gerrard and Amy Holland.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Yuki's Forum: Gay Muslims.

Please gather your thoughts on this documentary: Gay Muslims (January 2006)

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

Part 4:

Part 5:

Part 6:

Disclaimer and Regulations:

This open forum is to talk about issues surrounding the plight of homosexual Muslims. It is not meant to offend, or to insult, or to deny anyone's rights, or to create any atmosphere of argumentative behaviour. This is to be a process for a meaningful conversation that should lead to a more understanding and compassionate environment for everyone, to come to a common ground for all.

This is an open forum for discussion, discourse and dialogue. Do use this space for open-minded conversations and build bridges among the different communities. Please be civil, and respectful of others. Commenters with anti-religious comments and provocative statements shall be banned. Views expressed here by the commenters may not be the views of the blogmistress, Ms. Yuki Choe.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

The Best From The Archives Of "The Journey Of Yuki" – Street Fighter: Legend Of Chun Li... When will they do a Morrigan Aensland movie next?....

When I was a teenager and struggling to fit in, one of the stuff I picked up to be one of the ‘boys’ was video arcade games. I played a lot of these arcade games because in a small town like Ipoh, there were not many entertaining things to do to get around. I played many, but two games which I eventually mastered, was Vampire Hunter and Street Fighter (Street Fighter II: The World Warrior, Street Fighter II: The New Challengers).

I was so good at it I gave the boys a torrid time. I practically was a master in the use of Vampire Hunter’s Morrigan Aensland, knowing how to execute all of her special powers, and also a fan of this character being close to the woman I hope to be one day, in my fantasies of course. But Street Fighter was also an appeal to me because of its storyline with cool graphics, and I managed to specialize in characters like Ken, Ryu and Blanka.

I watched three movies that spurned out of it; one was the totally comedic Hong Kong movie Future Cops, and the Jean-Claude Van Damme vehicle Street Fighter. I was totally disappointment with both, as I feel it does not do justice to the legend Street Fighter is and what it stands for in the heart of the arcade generation. The best representation of the arcade game was in the end Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie, which was awesome.

So when I heard some news today, I felt mixed emotions within me. I went, what the…!!!

Street Fighter: Legend Of Chun-Li!

Who is going to play Chun Li? It was supposedly Jessica Alba / Keira Knightley, but both turned down the ‘golden’ chance. It looks like Clark Kent’s love interest in ‘Smallville’ is the girl!

‘Street Fighter’ Has It’s Chun Li

Kristin Kreuk is Chun-Li in Street Fighter!

Street Fighter's Chun-Li Is Smallville star Kristin Kreuk

What have they done now! Kristin Kreuk as Chun Li? If she goes against Morrigan Aensland, I will give my cash that Morrigan would win without lifting a skirt, or a sweat.

Published in "The Journey Of Yuki" on Saturday, December 22, 2007

Friday, January 2, 2009

That Thing Called A Mobile Phone.

It was probably the 10th time I circled Bukit Bintang and passed by the Pavillion and J.W. Marriot. Again and again I frantically attempted to find a jazz bar called “No Black Tie” to see Jerome Kugan and Peter Brown perform. Then in a moment of divine inspiration, I decided to call the most outgoing lesbian I know. Yes, she will surely know the place, I thought. In fact, she had told me it was near Genesis Hotel. Unfortunately, even the Shell and Caltex stations I dropped down to asked for the location do not know where the hotel is, let alone a mysterious street called Mesui. I was already one hour late for the show.

I called my Miss-Outgoing-Lesbian-Sista three times. Not one time she answered. And as luck would slap me on the face I went out of credit. Another trip to the petrol station to get a reload was unsuccessful. Tired, frustrated and annoyed, I tried to make one turn to a street near Bukit Bintang and walla, I found the place! After enjoying the night out with Jerome and meeting notable people there such as Shanon Shah and Hafidz Baharom, I decided to call it a night. I fetched Jerome back to Bangsar and tried to call Miss-Outgoing-Lesbian-Sista once again. And again, no answer. She did not call back too.

In another situation, one day while looking for someone to ask about “pengkids”, my Miss-Wise-Lesbian-Sista was replying to an SMS I sent her, when I called her instead for a direct reply to a question. After chatting for awhile, our conversation was cut off. She then sent to me a full reply with her answer. I called her back and asked her why she still sent me the reply when she already answered me when we were chatting. She said, that it is the right thing to do to respond as a memorandum because I SMS-ed her earlier. Hmm.

The mobile phone was a luxury item back in the 80s, and only as recent as a decade plus ago, prices came down for both the phone and the packaged call plans. It became such a general item that kids are bringing it to school it seems. The mobile phone had become a necessity these days, as people are sinking into the comfort of talking while walking around, to looking for friends who are lost in the jungle called a shopping mall. It is an item of convenience and great for emergency use. The purpose of the mobile phone is for a person to call or answer anytime, at any place, in any circumstances even in bathrooms. And the past few years saw the mobile phone becoming a pocket camera, pocket Game Boy, pocket video recorder, pocket (etc). I myself enjoy games of Sudoku on my mobile.

So what made people now either lazy to return a call with a mobile phone, or get obsessed in replying? I for one have a weird habit with SMS-es. I would type the full 160 character spaces while adjusting to complete a one page SMS before sending. Why, you might ask. Because it will cost the same with a reply like “ok” so I want to get my character money’s worth. And I wish to make sure the other party gets to read the best reply I can send them. Unless I am really tired (or the page space is already full), I would always say “take care” or “thank you”. It is manners. It is also to express gratitude and fill up spaces.

And I will always answer calls and attend to SMS-es, or at the least call or SMS back. As a lonely person, a phone ringing means a lot to me especially from my dearest friends. And gosh, who knows if I am needed for something that warrants urgent response. Or someone calling to tell me I am not alone in this crummy world. Even a reply that takes almost a day to come means a lot. But I guess some Malaysians may be growing out of love with mobile phones. Of all the SMS-es I sent out during New Year’s eve, only a handful replied. One even replied only the next day. With that kind of response, I wonder who shall I call in a life or death situation, or when I have only one available call to make while being in police custody? One thing is for certain. I better make sure I get a full page SMS ready first.