Wednesday, July 8, 2009

The Century.

This is the 100th post here. And one year has past since the events of Chonburi unfolded. What a year it has been. But I certainly learnt a lot. And I guess one of the biggest lessons I learnt thus far is to choose relationships wisely. From my husband throwing me out like a dirty diaper to most friends who are uneasy of me, everything is an experience that points out this: not everyone that loves you or likes you, really do. I also realize I love my dad so much, and I have found peace and solace in my being. Of course, there are still the endless series of unfortunate events that happen in my life, but I am handling it better now than I did a year ago. I am thankful for my two incredible bosses who supported me all the way.

I accepted that things are never going to be easy for a transsexual woman like me. People will always assume things about me, and some will think they know me better than I know myself. There are also dumb asses who even after so much proof about the biology of transsexuals, they still turn their ignorant senses away, do not wish to answer valid questions, and pretend to be someone who knows transgenders more than transgenders know themselves, to the point they can become the word “judge”.

I am no longer speaking on behalf of the LGB community and only focus on ex-gay and transgender issues; even then I have so many problems keeping up. I got like 2 articles still unfinished and one big heck of a story coming up for XGW, but did not have time to finish it up or to travel to get the items needed. And as the probation period at my company comes to an end, there is a fear of what will happen to me for my future. At this point, I remember what my friend from Singapore told me before. We only have death to face. So what else is there for us to fear? Which is true. I never thought I would be able to continue my life last year. But here I am, with my 100th post. Wishing everyone, happiness.


alan said...

Trusting someone and giving our heart to them only to have it discarded like a trinket would be enough to make anyone bitter! That you still reach out to others shows what an amazing capacity to love you still have; thank you for making a place for me in your life!

People always think "they know", they are just more guarded in other circumstances than they are in yours. I've been told I would burn in Hell for having friends who are black; for questioning their interpretation of things they have no right to interpret...if condemnation resulted in lightning strikes I'd have long ago gone into Guinness's book!

I am grateful for your hundredth post and look forward to your thousandth and your ten-thousandth!


Yuki Choe said...

I think I will be gone before I hit ten thousandth! Thanks Alan.