… kids start out as kids… they don’t know…. (Glenn Stanton on the CBS show Dr Phil)
My answer to the above? Mr. Stanton, you may think you are very smart and you can bully children and paranoid parents into submission to your dogmas but unfortunately, I knew when I was a child and still know I am a girl today. The thing is, I am now an adult and capable of thinking for myself. And one day, these very kids you bully are going to become adults too. And they are not torn between deciding whether they are a girl or a boy. They know exactly who they are. Many KNEW since they were young, and still KNOW. Looks like the only one that is confused here is "Little Focus Therapist Lost" who could not see through one's gender identity.
The subject of transgender children was discussed on Dr. Phil and the title of one of the shows described exactly what most folks think of transgender children. GENDER CONFUSED KIDS. Glenn Stanton, a member from the audientce of the show from Focus On The Family (FOTF), believes transgender kids “mimics adult concepts that she got from somewhere”, and wonders who is leading and following. In other words, he expects parents to lead the child to the “correct” gender and kids should be tacitly forced to follow it until they are proud of their gender identity. FOTF often blames parents for transgender children.
Then on his latest show, again with a very misleading title, this time LITTLE BOY LOST. It focused on a mother who raised a transgender child and affirming her gender identity, only to be wrongly accused of confusing the child further based on the theories and pseudo-sciences by NARTH’s Joseph Nicolosi and again, Glenn Stanton. I take issue on this because of the obvious frame of thinking that Dr. Phil has. The question posed, “What do you think is the best way to treat a child with gender identity confusion?”, already invalidated my experiences and my story as a transgender child, to a mere “confusion”.
I have been lost on a lot of things. I have been confused at many points in my life. But never in the 30 plus years I walked this earth, have I ever been confused about my gender, or sex. I may sometimes walk out sporting the jersey of my favourite English football team for more than two decades, Manchester United. I am a social drinker and a trying-to-quit smoker. I hardly wear make-up unless I am in the mood. In fact, I can be anything masculine or feminine, and yet neither of these terms bother me. But who am I? A girl. I am 100% sure of this ever since I was a young child just beginning to realize the world I live in.
Of course, there will be men who like to dress as women but still identity as men and vice versa, and yet they are never confused. They just wish to dress up the opposite of their gender identity or as a hobby or convenience or for some reason I am not in position to judge, and most I know are married to their opposite sex partners. Some are out and open about it especially women and most of the men I know are not. Still they know very well who they are. All of them can definitely relate to me in some matters, but not all because I am still different from them being a transsexual female, and I did not choose this.
One of the many things people ask me is, when did I realize I was born different. My reply was simple and I try to make it clear to avoid more confusion. Contrary to what most people would say, when I was a child I did not “know it”, or “feel” like a girl trapped in a boy’s body. In fact I was not even concerned about that when I was young. The only recollection of my youth includes jumping around inside my father’s Volkswagen and being scolded by my mother countless times. I remember walking in the park with my parents and feeding fishes there with bread. I recall playing badminton with my father and brother.
The only “feminine” thing I did that I can think of back then, was watching “Care Bears” and “My Little Pony and Friends”. But funny thing is, I was hammered with enough “G.I. Joe” and “ThunderCats”, watched and played football, done enough “masculine” things, to be "boy" brainwashed enough by FOTF and NARTH’S standards; and still if you asked me who I am? I am a girl. This is exactly the same thoughts I had when I was a child. Yes, I was, and still am, close to both my father and my mother. So do I sound like “little boy lost” or “confused”? Well, the only thing that confused me was when my parents placed me in a boy’s school when I was 7.
Next On Yuki's Box Of Chocolates: Growing Up A Transsexual Child.